This last month was one of the busiest, most trying experiences but also one of the most enlightening and exhilarating.
I can only speak for myself but it’s really easy to walk through your years in whatever professional environment but definitely medical school and feel like you’re the least equipped or competent person. And don’t get me wrong as a student you are honestly. But you know when you know that but you also know you’re trying your hardest, you know some shit, and you have good days but you don’t know if the people around you (superiors) really see it? Like... to spend an ENTIRE MONTH doing that and wonder if you’ll only be remembered for that one morning you were late to rounds because you were lost can very easily haunt you. (Yea that was my first day... we won’t get into the mistakes made in my first week) But I know that I learned and grew and by the end was far more comfortable, competent, and confident. I had two really stand out moments with two urologists that I could have never expected.
One I didn’t spend much time with but he taught me so much and let me see patients and was so so kind and really wanted to see me back. That always makes for a good work day so I had two good works days with him in my last week. The other stand out moment was with an attending that I really admired, worked with several times throughout the month and had definitely vibed with at least in my head lol. And on one of the last days I worked with him, he shared what he thought of me as a person and student and that he would really enjoy working with me and would love if I trained with the program. And like as a student you live for moments of validation whether it’s from staff, patients, whoever... but when I tell y’all I was about to cry in front of this man cause he is really cool and we click but he’s still MAD INTIMIDATING and AWESOME at his job, so hearing that after 4 weeks of busting my ass and wondering if I did alright.. that shit will have you in your feelings...FAST.
So this month was A LOT.... of work, of emotions, of doubt, of fun, of everything. I really do love urology and I desperately hope I can be a urologist. But even if that isn’t the route my medical career takes. I’ll have this experience and those moments to look back on and remind me that I am here, doing this, pursing a dream and I don’t suck at it. Everyone May not see it but I know that someone did. And if that someone did, another someone will.
It’s my last year of medical school, y’all. Shit’s getting real!
The Third Voice