So we left off with exams I believe.... Don’t worry there was more... There’s always more [exams]... March is off to a great start though... Parents just visited, exams went well... But we are on to prepping for my NBME/ cumulative final and continuing prep for Step with an upcoming practice CBSE (sample Step exam)... So I’ve complained about this aloud a million times but for those reading who don’t spend time with me here at school... I am v. SALTY because they put this MANDATORY practice exam in our break... a break I very much I intend on taking and using to yes, do some school stuff but also get some much needed fun in my favorite place (Houston... y’all already know).
So yea I’m upset [putting tests all in my break, that’s disrespect] *drake voice
But I’m gonna do it Monday and that’s fine.
Oddly enough leading up to this final and the practice exam, I’m feeling pretty good, like confident academically. This waxes and wanes in medical school so yea it’s a big deal. I was ready for that final and did my best to be as ready for the CBSE, which although is more or less just a checkpoint and carried no weight, it would be nice to pass. Disclaimer: in the midst of the studies, I had a birthday.
Yes another year of life granted, another birthday spent in between tests & obligations, haha... Are you understanding why this break is so important? I mean for more than just birthday celebrations but also for just that. I turned 26, which I still don’t know how I feel about it... officially closer to the next decade of my life which sends all sorts of thoughts flying and bouncing off the walls of mind, both good and odd. I think about things I would have like to have done by now but mostly about how likely it is that many things I desire may not happen in the next year or two or three. It’s a weird age where I’ve stopped to contemplate more than ever just how okay I am and need to be with things being and coming when they might. It’s an age that reminds me just how comfortable I need to be with the virtue of patience. I think birthdays in general do that for me anyway but this one especially... There’s always some reflection, some dreaming of the future, and a whole lot of gratitude that pours out when celebrating another year. And don’t get me wrong whatever I’ve yet to do by 26 is not a complaint, just an observation. I don’t have any qualms about what I haven’t done because of where I freaking AM!! Like I’m in med school, bout halfway through med school! Like that’s awesome and hard and scary and crazy to even think about cause being here does something unearthly to your sense of time. It’s going fast but also slow. It’s a blessing but also like a jail sentence. It’s crazy. But it’s true and it's my life! And I’m not just here, pursuing my dream... I’m doing t with some truly inspiring and kind souls #Tank25 aka the fam plus other awesome classmates, I have the BEST and I mean the BEST support system in my family and loved ones in HTX and various places. Like I may have just been studying (and hella self caring) on my actual birthday but there was so much love that reached me and no shortage of uplifting. Like some people really had me in my feelings and some people surprised me cause you never know who is seeing you or appreciating you. God really is good. Like soooooo GOODT! Idk if y’all knew but I’ll never not claim that. He steady taking care of ya girl, cause I can’t do it alone.... but I digress.
Fast forwarding, exams have been taken and I leave for Houston tomorrow! I’ll be stopping by grandparents house on the way though, which is so so crucial. Y’all I’m not even sure the last time I was at their house. I know the last time I saw my grandpa face to face he was in the hospital after having a coronary bypass. So much has happened since and I’ve been gone and ridden with guilt for not being as present as I wanted when it comes to them. So making this stop means so much to me. I don’t quite know how to convey just how much.
*im not crying.
Soooooo.... back in LBK (Lubbock). Ugh. Don’t be alarmed I shall regale you with tales of my very brief yet busy Houston visit. So visited my grandparents, best best thing ever. It’s crazy how the nature of your conversations change but the characters don’t. They are how I always have known them and remember them as a granddaughter yet catching up for so much lost time was interesting. I love them. That was Tuesday, got to Houston that evening.
Wednesday was the beginning. Wednesday through Saturday, I got lots of sleep, did some work, and saw what I’m realizing was a legion of some of the most important women in my life (sorry not sorry male friends). Thinking back it’s kind of crazy just how many women I spent time with and all of them such strong and inspiring forces. See, told y’all. Blessed. I caught up in a very real and necessary way with some sorority sisters that I literally look up to. My pledge class knows, they mean the world to me. They’re wives, mothers, leaders, THINKERS, professionals, and fierce friends. My big, Grams, Areed there aren’t even words for how much I love y’all and it made me so happy to have that time. So what did I do in Houston?
Big things we’re exploring and hopping all over Houston Thursday, catching new and old fave hangouts Thursday and Rodeo with my partner in crime Friday. Y’all I was as extra as could be as much as I could be, cause I was home! It felt so good to just do the most day after day for no reason. Houston as big as it is is growing and it’s so fun hitting up new breweries or eateries and letting the day just fall into place and that’s what Thursday was (with an obligatory stop at Darwins cause duh). Houston Rodeo with my girl never disappoints! Boots, big hair, and the overwhelming rush of sentiment that comes with channeling my little Cass county childhood, watching the competitions and letting whiskey do what it do best. I like that I can be completely immersed in who I “used to be” (low key still am deep down) and two step my heart out at the hideout. All these things done in the company of women. Some of the best in the city, and I’m fortunate enough to call friends. Even who I stayed with, she’s one first of all a bomb host and one of my favorite people, cause she is smart, she is kind, and she is important and she makes kombucha.
Saturday was restful, and full of the closest loved ones. My parents were in town bringing my little brother back so there was family and that night was spent with my besties from college, the day ones. Food, friends, and family filled my last hours and it was perfect. Just to keep up the femme talk, my mom and 2/3 besties were the last women I spent time with in my visit. I know I’d just seen my mom but it never matters!! She gives me feels no one else can or ever will. I love my ma. Y’all know this.. And just to brag on the ladies I call best friends real quick. One I’ve talked about before cause she getting married and ish. But they both are the realest. We are each in three very distinct seasons of life, like polar differences in challenges, tasks, work, life, relationships you name it.... BUT, those queens are doing life, the ups, the downs, the stop and turn around... They’re doing it. Day by day. And we aren’t all there for every little hung anymore but we have trust and love and support and respect. I love them so so much and they impact my life greatly in the best way. Those were my few days at home. Women are the shit.
So where are we now??.... uh I’ve been back a week. We are starting the next and LAST course of second year, my Lord. It’s beginning with endocrine and retro. It’s late March now, and StEp is still approaching in case you were wondering. The fire is lit, the pressure has been on but it’s like on-on, on-on. Which is fine like Literally signed up for this. So it’s cool. Gained some weight while gone, (will never say no to Houston eats) also cool... but the health grind was reinstated upon return. It’s been good and always enforces my studying and routine which is and has been especially important for this semester/season of school and prep. Gotta a week left in the month, I don’t foresee any huge updates but you never know...
Last week of the month was getting ahead in class studies (endocrine) & rooting for Tech's basketball team, who as you may know made it to the Final FOUR!1 So it's been a good weekend with good people. March in all its madness has been incredible. Things are going to speed up & intensify concerning Step (as if it wasn't already) so if updates come a little later and later until the deed is in fact done, bare with me friends.
The Third Voice